sorrow of the sarcastic

post it at my blog, don't know why, well, at least there are very few (or none at all) people who knew and see my blog

it's always like this...
me and my friends usually gather in my friend's room (let's refer him as B)
usually, we watched movie until 2-3 in the morning, and then after we finished we do nothing but chat, play or sleep in B's room.
not all people can stay until morning and didn't sleep at all, so as time goes by, my friends went home...

usually, the last remaining people are as follows (or at least, they are always the last people):
me
B (he's the owner of the room)
two people, which are very close to B (let's refer it as P and M)
and some who usually sleep in B's room because too lazy to go home.

when this situation occurs, here comes my worst nightmare...

this night, same thing happens the last people who survived until now is..
me
B
P and M
two sleeping people

B usually lend his computer to M or chat w/ her or something, but tonight, she's playing computer. P watched her for 3-5 minutes and then sleep and B plays PSP
it's not that i don't want to return to my room (i live in the same unit w/ B) but...
err................... how should i describe it??
i kinda... want to stay at P's side until she woke and went home (she live in the same unit with M but different unit w/ me -of course, she's a girl!!-) what she do is sleep until M finish and they all go home together.

and there's me, sitting down there and doesn't have anything to do, i cannot sleep at there (B will said 'why don't sleep at your own room?' and often B will add one special quote 'you make this place smaller' (he doesn't speak like that, he spoke not in english, it's just i can't translate it properly, but overall, it's like that)
so what should i do? borrow B's PSP? nah, he'd NEVER lend it to me -- even if he's not playing it. use computer? M is using it... get my laptop in my room and brought it there? B will said the same thing about sleeping like 'why don't you play w/ your computer in your own room?' and as usual w/ an addition 'this place will become smaller'
and i had no choice but to return to my room and do nothing.
why i'm not sleeping?? 'cuz if i sleep at that time (3-4 o'clock in the morning) i won't get up at 7 a.m. (i have to do morning prayer at 7 a.m. in 40 days in a row w/o a day off, if i failed i have to repeat from the 1st day again)

today, it's 5 o'clock and i don't have anything to do. i just wanna cry but i can't for no reason. At this kind of situation, even game (whom i loved very much!!) won't help entertain me. i only able to play a song, hillsong to be exact, hear a worship song and pray to GOD, so HE may be able to help me through this moment.
This isn't my first time, this is the third... or fourth... and i don't want this event to keep happening.

i don't know why i'm writing this on my blog (which i've never open it for months) i didn't expect someone to read this, and i don't hope too. it's just i want to write this in this 'diary' of mine.

Addicted...

Recently addicted to mafia wars in FB...
anyone playing that, join my mafia family!!

Daily Dead

Another boring day, with many assignment to do..
*sigh* sometimes i wished that all could vanish from this world...

arcana

You are Death

Change, Transformation, Alteration.

People fear this card, but if you want to change your life, this is one of the
best indicators for it. Whatever happens, life will be different. Yes, the Death card can signal a death in the right circumstances (a question about a very sick or old relative, for example), but unlike its dramatic presentation in the movies, the Death card is far more likely to signal transformation, passage, change. Scorpio, the sign of this card, has three forms: scorpion, serpent, eagle. The Death card indicates this transition from lower to higher to highest. This is a card of humility, and it may mean you have been brought low, but only so that you can then go higher than ever before. Death "humbles" all, but it also "exults." Always keep in mind that on this card of darkness there is featured a sunrise as well. You could be ready for a change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

HELL~O!!

first of all, i'm a new mem--correction--blogger
and i don't know any damn thing about blog at all...
so, anyone seeing this can you tell me how to design my blog
like, template/background, banner, ANYTHING!!

geez, first post and i feel i like to delete this blog...